Why do you hate grammar, Spartacus?

After some weeks of just having forgotten about it, I watched the last two episodes of Spartacus: Vengeance.  Sadly, because of this break I had taken, all the things I should have become used to by now are “new” again and just as perplexing as before. For example, do they genuinely believe that a ~more accurate~ equivalent to the Latin language is grammatically incorrect English? Come on.

I don’t know if that is the actual reason, but there have beenfans explaining the missing articles or pronouns as the writers recreating Latin grammar, which famously does not use articles the way English uses them.

Except, augh. AUGH. That logic, what?

I guess I should be thankful that this takes place in Ancient Rome, not Japan, where an “accurate” translation would also have to drop the disctintion between singular and plural and various parts of the sentence, usually the subject. That’d have been fun.

The issue is that I don’t hear this arteficial babbling as a fancy echo of Latin, I just hear a weirdly chopped up, telegraph-style of English. A weird mix of the kind of posh, old-fashioned language I actually liked in Final Fantasy XII, incorrect, oddly impersonal grammar, and the words fuck, cock and cunt in various variations.

(Once, the word “cock” was used in its meaning of “rooster”. It took several minutes for the sentence to make sense.)

And then they brought in the … Germanic people. I don’t think they were ever identified as anything other than the vague “East of Rhine”, and I find it difficult to imagine that they, personally, would never mention their tribe’s name. But then again, I find it hard to just accept their strongly English-accented modern High German as … any Germanic language they would have spoken back in the day.

I suppose it’s as good, or as bad a stand-in for the true language as their pseudo-Latin is for actual Latin. But both is a bit grating, and when you have both at once, it’s that kind of sobering blow to the head where I wonder what the heck I am doing, watching something that sounds like it ran their script through Babelfish. :(

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